just to warn you most of this is just me ranting on and on and on and on and on and on....... you get it. and also.... sorry for my spelling, never been good at it.
im am dedacating this blog entrie to stress and life sucking. everybody has different views of life and even in thier own views life might not be how they may want it to be. i finally got one of those saying that make sence but dont matter until it happens to you, for instance... "you never know what you have until its gone." ive always thought those saying were so lame and only old people with nothing better to do would sit around and make saying up. and they probably do but they are all mostly true. growing up i felt my life was a giant pit of suck. but looking back on it i relize that life was very good to me. ive always had a large variety of friends and never have every really had problems with girls eather. elementary school was good and middle school things got worse, parents devorst, made some bad friends, and got expelled. but in 8th grade i really tuned myself around and relized that there is more to life than just looking cool and having lots of friends. so ive just been living in the moment and trying my best to look at things half full and always showing love and affection to those around me. but its really stressfull some times, i feel like everyone around me just doesnt give a crap about me and the more i show the less i get back. i mean i know that people care aout me.... its just i dont feel like they do. i also find that life is SOOO STRESSFUL. i cant stand to live another day sometimes. in 10th grade i moved to the school im at now, EHS, from EHS (its italasized to show that its old so thats what that means) ironic i know. but its just no the same here, at EHS i knew all the kids because i grew up with them scence kindergarden. and i mean now i have friends but its just not the same. i just find it very stressful coming into this group of friends that have known eatchother for a long time and just jumping into it. but there is one thing that i look forward to everyday and thats my girlfriend. i finally have a relashionship that is much more that phyisical contact. i mean like we hangout not to often but when we do its like us talking and playing out side and what not but i find it stressful that im not one of her top priorities. like i am but yet im not..... we hangout once MAYBE twice a week witch to honsest, it sucks. she ushually hangout with one of her 3 bffs before she hangsout with me. i dont know, i know that i shouldnt complain because i know people who have it alot wores than me. but then there is school. wow school. thats just a topict in itself. and lets just say it my worst subject. i make what you might call barely passing grades so college isnt really a big thing that im looking forward to in the future considering im not going to going a very nice one. my mom is always suprising me with new tutors every week and leaving me soo stressed. but other than that i feel like life is good. i mean what really gets me down is that i feel like im not making the most out of my life and that i could be having so much more fun, you only live once and i want to look back at my life and be very thankfull for what i have. other wise lifes not all that half bad.
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